The past couple days have been very eye-opening for me. I have had a few revelations about my faith and where I am going in life... learning to open my eyes, heart and mind to God's plan instead of mine. Let me tell you... its not an easy road to walk. But that is where faith is walked out in all its glory.
I picked up the book "Blue Like Jazz" (Donald Miller) and started reading it on Monday. The last time I read it was probably about 6 years ago. And I only read it because someone told me it was a good book and I should read it. So I read it. Not really paying a whole lot of attention to what I was reading. This time around though, I am reading it with an open heart and mind... really taking in the incredible things God has revealed to him. This story really hit me... so I thought I'd share it with you:
The folksinger said his friend was preforming a covert operation, freeing hostages from a building in some dark part of the world. His friend's team flew in my helicopter, made their way to the compound and stormed into the room where the hostages had been imprisoned for months. The room, the folksinger said, was filthy and dark. The hostages were curled up in a corner, terrified. When the SEALs entered the room, they heard the gasps of the hostages. They stood at the door and called to the prisoners, telling them they were Americans. The SEALs asked the hostages to follow them, but the hostages wouldn't. They sat there on the floor and hid their eyes in fear. They were not of healthy mind and didn't believe their rescuers were really Americans.
The SEALs stood there, not knowing what to do. They couldn't possibly carry everybody out. One of the SEALs, the folksinger's friend, got an idea. He put down his weapon, took off his helmet, and curled up tightly next to the other hostages, getting so close his body was touching some of theirs. He softened the look on his face and put his arms around them. He was trying to show them he was one of them. None of the prison guards would have done this. He stayed there for a little while until some of the hostages started to look at him, finally meeting his eyes. The Navy SEAL whispered that they were Americans and were there to rescue them. Will you follow us? he said. The hero stood to his feet and one of the hostages did the same, then another, until all of them were willing to go. The story ends with all the hostages sage on an American aircraft carrier.
I lever liked it when preachers said we had to follow Jesus. Sometimes they would make Him sound angry. I liked the story the folksinger told. I liked the idea of Jesus becoming man, so that we would be able to trust Him, and I liked that He healed people and loved them and cared deeply about how people were feeling.
When I understood that the decision to follow Jesus was very much like the decision the hostages had to make to follow their rescuer, I knew then that I had to decide whether or not I would follow Him. The decision was simple once I asked myself, Is Jesus the Son of God, are we being held captive in a world run by Satan, a world filled with brokenness, and do I believe Jesus can rescue me from this condition?"
It really put things into perspective for me. And from the little I know/have heard about people in the military and such, their weapons and gear are a part of them. It probably wasn't easy for this guy to put down his weapon and take off his gear and sit beside the prisoners.... but was there any other way? No. Jesus was willing to give up everything, His life in heaven to come and be one of us so that we could be saved. What a blessing.
I went to a friends graduation on Friday. My own grad feels like SO long ago. I remember thinking at grad what an important day it was. hahaha. It seems so small and insignificant now. The amount that I have changed and grown since grade 12 seems 10 times more significant than the 17 years prior to it.
I am so different than I was back in high school. I am so much more confident. I am learning to listen to God's call in my life. I have gone out and done things on my own. I am learning to be comfortable in who I am... who God made me to be. I make "my own" choices. I have dreams. I am learning to be a better friend.
Growing up is good. But it is tough. I see myself becoming more independent and ready to live on my own and provide for myself..... but it is terrifying! Sometimes I miss the security and simplicity of how life used to be... when I didn't have to worry about anything but waking up in to morning and catching the bus to school... when my parents paid for insurance and gas. But then I look again and I am excited about where I will go in life. As much as it scares me to not know what, and who, the future holds for me... I can't help but wake up some mornings with joy and sweet anticipation of what God has planned for me today. I need to remember that Jesus is with me every step of the way, He gave it all up for me, and I need to trust Him. I need to spend time with Him. I have realized that the best way for me to spend time with Him is to go somewhere away from the distractions of my home... away from my life. I spent 2 hours at the beach with Jesus the other day. It doesn't work for me to spend time with Him at home.... I get distracted by anything and everything around me. So I am setting aside time in my day to sit in a 'lonely' place where there is nothing to distract me from pouring out my heart. He knows best and I will walk forward on the path is has made for me to follow. I don't really know why or how to trust His sometimes... and I can't explain why I do.
"I don't think you can explain how Christian faith works. It is a mystery. And I love this about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel, and it comes from the soul."
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