I think I'm finally ready to begin 2015!

The first month of 2015 has been filled with a multitude of emotions, experiences, challenges and dreams. And unfortunately I've been sick with a nasty cold/flu... so I have a somewhat foggy recollection of them! So now I am ready to actually begin 2015... now that I am able to truly participate in it! 

I'm now in my third year of University and with that comes a wide variety of emotions and stresses. It's coming to the point where people expect me to know what area of nursing I want to focus on, and I'm just not ready to make that decision yet. There is this conflict between wanting to be done school (I'm just so over all these assignments!) and a huge fear of actually being out there in the real world. I really don't think nursing school gives us the tools and practical experience we need. There are a lot of useless assignments that have very little relevance and application to the practical skills and abilities I am going to need when I graduate... and the knowledge of that is terrifying! What will happen when I get out into the real world, and I have 6+ patients to take care of... when I've only ever taken care of 2!!? The learning curve will be huge, terrifying and exhausting. I know that. And yet... there isn't a single thing I can do to change the fact that school isn't going to prepare me for that transition. I'm just going to have to deal with it. Gross. Haha. I'm already dreading it! 

On the upside of school... I'm taking an elective, and even though it is kinda boring, it is so nice to be out of the nursing realm of education. There are no other nursing students in the class, there are an even number of guys and girls, classes are only an hour and a half long and there are NO PAPERS to write! Even though it is extra work, it is also refreshing. 

Being sick has brought on an onslaught of challenges. The last time I was this sick was when I had the whooping cough... when I was 12. It's included everything. Runny nose, headaches, fever, a horrible cough and incredible fatigue. I can't believe I'm already in my 4th week of the semester. A quarter of the way through... and I have almost no recollection of what has taken place. Midterm season should be interesting. haha. Even though I'm not quite 100%, I feel like a million bucks in comparison to the previous 5 weeks. My advice... Don't get it! It's not worth the sleepless nights. 

I was looking back the other day on the huge accomplishments of the past year... and dreaming of what is next... if I had the time! Now that I'm starting to feel better I find myself thinking about what my next "outrageous" event will be, and how I'll accomplish it. Really the possibilities are endless - that's something I learned last year. Even what I think is impossible is doable... when you take it just one step at a time, and when you have the patiences and support that you need. Most importantly, don't try to do it alone... It definitely isn't worth the struggle. 

The realization of the richness, the value, of community, fellowship, vulnerability, honest and humility has really been stirring in my heart. So often I look to others for the support I need, but realized that I need to make myself available to be that for others too.... which inspired this devotional:

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud

    but shows favor to the humble.”

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:1-11)

I love that the body of Christ is built of people of all ages, strengths, experiences and wisdom. And I am so thankful for the dear friends I have who continually speak words, encouragement and truth into my life. I have been so blessed by so many people, who are willing to truly watch over me, who care for me in a way that brings me to tears with gratitude. My prayer is that God is creating me into a person of wisdom and strength to be able to encourage and support others too… That I will be a witness of his great love, and will be able to spur others onto love and good deeds…

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Isn’t this what all of our desires should be? How can we love, support and encourage one another? Don’t assume that you know the best way to do that. Ask what people what they need. Ask them how you can encourage them. Ask them what you can pray for. And listen… let us truly listen to what they are saying. Do it not so that you can know their struggles and secrets, but because you care about their soul – that you love them with a deep, gracious and unconditional love.

If the enemy is on the prowl looking for someone to devour… who do you think he’ll choose to prey on, the individual standing alone in their struggles? Or the one who is injured and surround by a team standing guard? Don’t try to fight your battles alone. It can be terrifying to be vulnerable, but allow others to walk the journey with you and support you. And also be willing to be that person for others.