must sleep

I really need to get out of this habit of staying up so late. I am up till 2 almost every night. But it is most often during these sleepless hours of the morning that I feel most motivated to write. As much as my body is craving sleep... I gotta get these thoughts written down, and then I will slip into sweet slumber.

I was going for a run the other day... in lovely blustery, stormy rainy weather when God re-revealed something to me. It was something that I had thought of this summer... but it came in fully cultivated this time. It makes enough sense to me now... that I am going to try to relay it to you.

I have often heard God described as the wind. We cannot see Him, but we see the affects of Him in peoples live. Just like you cannot see the wind, but you can see the affects that the wind has on everything. Well I started thinking about this a little more in depth.

The wind sounds different, and "looks" different depending on what, where and how strong it is blowing. It sounds totally different blowing through fir trees than it does through soft green grass. It looks different when it is lifting leaves off the ground than when it gently ripples the water of a lake. God created all things differently... He created each one of us with different gifts, weaknesses and looks. I often look at others and wish I had their gift of music, artistic abilities, body, smile, laugh, clothes, character, job, friends, families. But think about this... how boring would life be if we were all 50 foot tall, broad leaf maples with a 20km wind blowing through our branches? In order for us to have all grown to be the same... we would have to live at the same altitude, live in the same type of soil, always have the same type of weather, and live the same distance away from any lake, river or ocean. How boring would our planet be if that were the case? In the same way that God created different plants and such... He created us differently. We are different in almost every way. Some people are the alpine trees, that grow slowly, but strong and true. Others are the hay fields that grow and are harvested and grow again.

I am sorry if this is confusing. I keep jumping back and forth between talking about people and talking about nature... but I really see a connection here. I am not a tree-hugging hippie.... I just think there is something to be learned here. Stay with me.... this is good stuff.

Today as I am lying here in bed typing these words... there is a storm blowing outside. And it made me think of another aspect of the wind. In these storms the wind blows and breaks off the dead branches and pulls the leaves off of trees. In the same way God works at us and takes away what is dead and no longer useful... making room for new growth and prosperity in our lives.

So even though I sometimes feel like an awkward alder sapling among giant redwoods... I am reminded that God created me just the way I am. He loves the way I sound when the wind blows through my branches... and He is shaping me into who He created me to be.

I have friends who have amazing gifts of singing, playing music, painting, dancing... and I am jealous at times.... but this week God really showed me that there are things He has gifted me in. And while I don't really feel like my gifts are all that special, He assures me that they are. I had a date with my camera on Thursday. I am really growing to love taking pictures.... here is a little taste of my day.

So maybe I just need to rest and listen to the wind blow. Take joy in the different sounds it makes and praise God for making me the way I am.

Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful for having such a loving God who takes the time to teach me things. I am thankful for friends and family. I am thankful for my beautiful house. I am thankful for the love that is given to be day after day even though I don't deserve it. I could go on and on.