a reminder

All it took was one word for God’s truth to finally break through to me. Lovely

I have wonderful people in my life… who love and encourage me and are always ready to listen. This is a story from two years ago. It is a story about how God changed my thinking… or at least it is the beginning of the journey to change my thinking… about how I see and value about myself.

Let me start by giving you a little insight into what my self-image was like.... it didn't exist.

This story begins with me in tears (which seems to happen every now and again) talking with my wonderful friend Jacki. What an incredible woman. She always speaks with honesty, humility and wisdom. I had been having a pretty difficult week and was feeling very alone and discouraged. She told me that I was lovely. Inside and out. And that she has heard people say that about me… young and old… women and men. And she encouraged me in saying that I am a prize. I listened… but didn’t really hear it. I wasn't able to receive it. 

Later in the week at camp where I was working for the summer, I had what I call my “Horton Hears A Who” moment. Have you seen the movie? Well the part in the movie where all the Whos are shouting “We are here. We are here” … to help Horton convince the other jungle animals that there was a whole town of tiny people on the clover, that’s the part I’m talking about.

During that part in the movie, the little Whos are shouting truth, but no one was taking the time to listen. No one was willing to hear the truth. They thought it was impossible, so they didn’t even bother to listen. That’s what was happening with me. I was so sure of something that I wasn’t willing to listen to or accept the words of truth, love and encouragement that people were speaking into my life.

Ok, after that little side-track, back to the story.

Back at camp during the week I had more people tell me that week that I am lovely. Lovely. There had always been something about that word that stood out to me. I don’t know why. For the first time I was started thinking, maybe people are serious when they say these things to me. For so long I hadn’t liked myself. I didn’t see myself as valuable. And I thought no one else could either. I believed that they only said kind things to me out of pity.

One evening around the campfire it felt like God was shouting the words to me Jacquelyn, you’re LOVELY. This time I heard it, I received it. During worship we sang the chorus from the song ‘Fire Fall Down’ over and over and over again.

You changed it all.

You broke down the wall when I spoke and confessed

In you I am blessed

Now I walk in the light, in Victorious sight of you.

I think maybe God was trying to tell me something. I stood there in awe as God showed me what he meant by the word lovely and how it really truly is how he sees me.

It isn’t a word like beautiful or gorgeous that describes an outside appearance. And it isn’t like compassionate or kind that describe something inside, a characteristic. To me, lovely is a word that encompasses both. It describes both the inside and outside. It’s a word that now holds even more meaning for me.

God has given me a new confidence of who he created me to be. He didn’t make any mistakes. I am lovely. I am valuable. He has a purpose and a plan for my life.