For the last 2-3ish weeks I have been waking up at 6.10 am. Why? I have no idea. But every morning I would wake up, look at the clock - 6.10! Ahhh! It was driving me nuts. I just wanted to sleep. Jodie and I laughed about it for a while one day remembering the movie Evan Almighty. In case you haven't seen it... Steve Carell plays Evan... who turns out to be Noah... kind of! haha. Anyways God keeps sending him these signs (6.14) in everything. Like his alarm clock, and like street signs and stuff. Anyways.... turns out God was telling him that he was "noah" Genesis 6.14. Jokingly Jodie said "maybe God is trying to tell you something" but I didn't really think anything of it.
This evening I was at the Zbirun's and Jacki challenged us to sit and listen to God. Right away I laughed to myself... haha. 6.10! Well... what can it hurt, right? so I opened up my bible. Psalms. I turned to chapter 6. And wouldn't you know it... there are 10 verses in that chapter!
Oh LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.
Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.
No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?
I am work out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow week with sorrow; the fail because of all my foes.
Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping.
The LORD had heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer.
ALl my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
My first thought was... Wow, thats kinda depressing. Well it doesn't apply to me at all. I don't have any enemies. And that is pretty much all its talking about. Haha. Maybe not. I was ready to move on in my quiet time with God when there was a little "tap" on my shoulder and God was like "Hey Jacquelyn, guess what? Your enemies are not people. They are the things you let your eyes see, your ears hear -- and the places you let your mind go." Wow. Then this passage totally applies to me. I closed my Bible and thought about it for a while.
This kind of enemy is even more difficult to conquer than people enemies. At least with people you can join forces with others. But this is a battle going on within ME. And I am fighting it "alone". It is difficult for me to ask a friend to join with me in because it is personal. It is something tough to talk about, and easy to lie about. So the human in me makes it an even more difficult battle to fight. Because of my pride. But then there is someone who knows exactly what I am suffering from. And it isn't possible for me to lie to Him. There is a tricky part to that though too.... I can choose to ignore Him... which I have been. And I don't want to any more. This is something that needs to be conquered. And I cannot do it alone. He has been will all along, I just have to choose to put my trust, faith and security in Him. I need to get rid of my pride. I need to humble myself to go where He is calling me. Even if it is scary.
I opened my Bible again. Matthew. Chapter 6. Verse 10.
your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
In heaven there is ultimate unity between/within the Trinity. God (in His total awesomeness) has offered us an "in" into this elite group. Jesus. He has invited us as individuals, and as a body. As a part of this group God has offered me everything. Support. Guidance. Love. Consequence. Grace. Power. Mercy. Protection. I just need to invite Him to help me walk the path He has called me to.
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Start within my heart.
Romans 6.10-14
The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
This blog is beautiful! What is wonderful is re-reading what God told you on Saturday and understanding even better what he has said. Also, it lines up with almost all of the other things that others heard and then shared on Sat., which of course confirms it more and more for you. This excites me, "even if it is scary" as you have said.
ReplyDeleteI am scared right now too about very similar challenges (I don't know your challenge specifically) but the challenge to war against that which is not seen that is within myself.
I pray too "Your will be done" with quivering lips but knowing (and reading and having had experienced) that His will and desire for us is truly best.
Thank you for sharing (again,) and if you need a team or someone to help with the enemy please consider me.I